Musings from my mind:

Driving over impossible roads to attend a funeral. Out in the middle of nowhere a large hole is dug and waiting, mourners are piercing the air with loud cries and we sit in the village on the ground waiting for the service to begin. I am used to the whaling of the women now. It reminds me of the descriptions in the Bible of the mourners for Lazarus. Because this is Africa, the funeral has a written program of events and we are asked to place flowers on the grave to represent the different areas at Namwianga Mission. I think that the loud whaling is healthy for us. It allows the mourners to express their feelings because death is so common here. They know it is all around them and none of them have been missed by the mark of its grasp. I have attended several funerals since we moved here two years ago. This funeral was the only one where the deceased person was even remotely old. She was 62. The other funerals were for an 18month old, a 2 year old and a man who was about 30. So here the Zambian must come to terms with their mortality early in life. I think Americans feel entitled to a long life, healthy and productive. Then at an appropriate age we slip into that drug induced mist of death. For Christians we believe that our life will continue with God. The Zambians who are Christians believe that but they are so much more realistic about the life here before death. They are grateful for each day they have and don't take anything for granted. They expect pain with their passing. They expect pain with the daily life and are grateful when that can be relieved by hospitals here. But despite all this realism they are some of the most joyful people I have been around. They do not let their circumstances determine their outlook. I give Thanks to God daily for that lesson laid out before me. He is our joy and not things around us . We do more than just exist , we live. If I have learned nothing else while living here I am learning to live abundantly. In the laughter and love of God's people.

I am reading Peterson's book "Eat this book". One of the things he said really struck me..He says we have replaced the Trinity of God the Father , the SOn and the Spirit with our own Trinity. That of Holy wants, Holy Needs and Holy Feelings. We have taken our Soverign self to be the text of Spiritual formation of our life. This is pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps or American independence at its worst. We are taught from the cradle on to put ourselves and our choices first. We are entitled. So since we are spending so much energy upon our selves and our needs, wants and feelings we only allow God some space in our life. He becomes peripheral not central. In the Message, in Romans, it says not to become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. So here in Zambia I find that I have transfered my own Trinity of wants, needs and feelings into my work here. I struggle with their culture which places relationship over task completion. I struggle with overcoming years of doing without to get them to plan ahead. So what is my goal as I work to help open a hosptial. Is it a replica of an American hospital, shiny, organized and always on time. Or is it a good clean African hospital, not so organized yet offering their kind of care. Taking time for each person's needs and sharing all you have with whoever needs it. So today as I begin to meet with the staff at Namwianga clinic to offer suggestions Lord help me remember it is your work, and not mine and you are in charge. Help me to put You back in your rightful place as Soverign Lord of both my life and theirs, as I allow the real Trinity to transform me to be the living servant you desire.